“You look so tired.” - Said every ignorant person ever
I can bet as a mom you have had this four-word phrase directed at you at least once, in all its ignorant glory...
So we all know that while motherhood is such a beautiful experience, it doesn’t always look or feel that way. This is especially the case when you start to experience mom guilt.
I see it as an internal bully and the backbone of an identity crisis.
Once upon a time, you were a child or an individual for that matter, and you had all the time in the world to focus on yourself, your looks, hobbies, desires, and whatever dreams you had at the time.
Suddenly, you have to dedicate a chunk (if not all) of that time to the growth, looks, hobbies, and desires of one or more little humans, not to mention a spouse or partner if applicable.
And you don’t really have a choice because those little humans need your dedication to survive. Not to be dramatic, but you get it.
Over time, the lives of these little humans (and probably a big human too—your partner) have become your everything and your own life has very likely taken the backseat.
Naturally, the human desire to serve self will make a comeback. But shockingly, you find yourself feeling guilty for taking time for yourself.
You begin to question, “Am I being selfish? Do my husband or my kids need me? What will people think or say if I am away for too long?”
Yes, part of this is true, they do need you. But you also need you.
So let’s explore the reality of mom guilt, the importance of self-care, and practical ways to overcome this internal bully of guilt so you can gain the freedom to prioritize your needs and overall well-being.
The Reality of Mom Guilt
⚠️It can creep up at any time and in countless situations.
⚠️It may come as a sudden need to be productive while you’re relaxing
⚠️Or as thoughts about doing chores during your me-time
⚠️Or as a sudden flash of withdrawal when you’re away from your kids because you’re used to being there for them constantly.
Every mom goes through these feelings. It stems from societal expectations and the pressure to be a “good mom”.
Not to mention the illusion of perfection that is portrayed on social media. So know that you’re certainly not alone in these feelings because, trust me, every single mom can relate.
You are at very High Risk of staying in this cycle if you
identify with one or more of the following:
❌Consistently placing your self-care on the backburner; doing this has made any new attempts at self-care feel unnatural.
❌Constant comparison with the images of parenting that you see on social media; 90% of them aren’t the full truth.
❌Lack of balance between your work and home life.
❌Harboring the wrong idea that a “perfect mom” exists; she doesn’t!
I think you get it...
So what now, how do you stop the mom guilt? Well, to be perfectly honest, I don't think it ever truly goes away. I mean, you're only human.
But here are a few quick steps you can take to break that guilty conscience:
✅Acknowledge Your Feelings: As I said, you’re not alone in these feelings and you are only human. They’re normal and very possible to overcome.
✅Set Realistic Expectations: Shift your focus from external comparison and, instead, set your sights on personal fulfillment and growth. You can’t be a “perfect mom” because there’s no such thing! So, focus on being the best parent you can be and be proud of that.
✅Focus on the Benefits: Constantly remind yourself of the positive effects self-care has on your well-being and your family. Plus, when you prioritize self-care, you’re also leading by example. You’re showing your kids the value of taking care of yourself and your needs so they grow up taking care of themselves too.
Remember, you’re already doing so much for everyone else. It’s OKAY to do a thing (or two or five😜 ) for yourself too.
Glow on Gorgeous and Enjoy the Freedom to Prioritize You✨